Monday, May 6, 2013

Inside Bedroom Walls - Theme 14: Part II

"I could have painted that in third grade."  An insult to the Jasper Johns poster hanging on a pink wall.

"No Girls Allowed." A framed smiling boy holding a sign.

"And how many of these books have you actually read?" A sarcastic attempt to break a bad habit.

"Congratulations!" Sitting upon a desk with fancy writing saying Diploma.

"It's worse than the inside of a trash can in here."  An observation that it is finals week.

"It was all my idea.  I wanted to get you a present."  The love of a little brother wrapped in the form of a rainbow pony.

"Alphabetical... Seriously?" An obsessive compulsive complaint on organization of books and movies.

"Today you are you, that is truer than true.  There is no one alive who is youer than you!"  Birthday wishes from a little sister.

"It smells disgusting in here."  A reminder issued every three days to tidy a certain box in the corner.

"I'll be there for you." A poster of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. on a blue wall.

"DEMITRI. BLACK AND WHITE. ALMOST A YEAR OLD."  A lost pet that was never found.

"President's List." An accomplishment written on a thin piece of paper.

"Put your screen back in that window.  NOW!"  An attempted threat to prevent stargazing.

"TOMS." Two pairs of shoes that helped someone in need.

"Have you been smoking marijuana?" An accusation based off Sex on the Beach incense.

"Home. Sweet. Home." A sigh after a long day.

Cinco de Mayo, Sunday (Part V Choice #1, Theme 15)

Why last night was a bad idea.
Smoke still lingers in my hair, prevents me from sleeping.
Anxiety still floods my veins, prevents me from sleeping.
Clock still reads 10:30-- an infinite number of questions, prevents me from sleeping.
Homework still to be done, prevents me from sleeping from sleeping.
Pawn Stars still blaring downstairs, prevents me from sleeping.
Still driving to Presque Isle in the morning, prevents me from sleeping.
Still driving home Monday morning, prevents me from sleeping.
Still waking up for church, prevents me from sleeping.
Mind still racing, prevents me from sleeping.

May Fourth, Saturday (Part IV of Choice #1, Theme 15)

Sleepovers aren't just for middle school girls.
Horror movies aren't just for high school slumber parties.
Staying up late talking with a best friend about life isn't just for kids.

We didn't get that much sleep.
She didn't get through The Sixth Sense.
I didn't realize how much easier being younger used to be.

Third of May, Friday (Part III of Choice #1, Theme 15)

Too much to do.  Too much to think.  Too much to say.  Too much to finish.  Too little room for errors.

If I could have passed up sleep last night, I would have.  I'm trying to go on a no all-nighter streak this semester of finals.  There have been too many repercussions these last three semesters for a night of no sleep to look appealing.  So I settled for eleven.  Or midnight.  Or one.  Alright, I can't remember.

Stress destroyed any chance of a good night's sleep.  If someone was able to look inside my head, they would have seen a very confusing ping pong match being played.  Homework, class, piano, Cinco de Mayo, Presque Isle, trig, work, soccer, homework, on and on it went.  Eventually frustration came out in the form of tears.

My hope for falling asleep was that everything would be more relaxing and I'd have no worries.  This wasn't so.  Last night was the first night in a long time that I've had a nightmare.  It was one of the ones that doesn't leave you when you wake up.  One of those that makes you not want to go to sleep ever again.  So now on top of everything, I'm dreading climbing into bed tonight.

May Second, Thursday (Part II of Choice #1, Theme 15)

Days can be exhausting.  Especially ones that revolve around twelve hours of school.  This could involve two activities.  Homework and/or classes.  May I just say it again with a little more emphasis, TWELVE HOURS OF SCHOOL.  Who in their right mind would wake up at eight a.m. to go in and do homework until a class for an hour and fifteen minutes at 2:30 in the afternoon.  Then only to begin homework again until the library closes at 9.  At night.

Call me crazy, but I tried to open the books again after a long shower.  Ten minutes of staring blankly at a screen I wasn't even aware I was looking at led me to just say, ahh screw it.  Successful studying just wasn't possible.

Next came the nightly routine.  Brushed my teeth.  Swallowed meds followed by three gulps of cold water.  Went to the bathroom for final time of the day.  Said my goodnights, scaring mom as usual.  Then ventured towards my room to relieve my overstimulated brain.

I'd like to say I got into bed, laid my head on my pillow, said my prayers, and fell into a deep sleep.  But I can't.  I blame the producers of The Breakfast Club.  Oh, and my mom for only happening to have her TV turned on this night of all nights.  It was almost done. They were dancing throughout the library. Only ten minutes longer till I can sleep.

But no.  It just so happens mom and little sister invested in this same film just last week.  Mom was so kind as to tell me where it was and me not being able to let things go, went downstairs, popped it in, and fought my eye-lids for an hour and thirty-seven minutes.

Let's just say five-thirty came early along with confirmation of why it's not a good idea to sleep on the couch living with a family of six.

First Day of May, Wednesday (Part I of Choice #1, Theme 15)

I never set my alarm clock.  Turning the big twenty-one in December and I still have someone wake me up every morning.  With such a hectic night schedule, I use my mornings for sleep.  Sleeping in past noon isn't a difficult challenge for me.  If I don't request a wake up visit I sleep as long as I physically can.  Well, I say sleep.  It's actually more like limbo between barely awake and dream land.  I'll fight my eyelid's desperate request to open for three or more hours.  It's not really a healthy way to sleep, but it's the only time I have.

Why don't I just use nighttime to sleep like every normal person on planet Earth?  That questions easy.  Like I said earlier, the scheduled path I am being guided through permits me from doing so.  The thought probably drifting through your mind is something along the lines of, actually there's another term for that.  It goes a little something like bad time management.  One might feel they could easily argue so, but I know differently.

If I wasn't in school during the afternoon and my teachers didn't throw homework at me left and right, I would sleep at night. 
If I wasn't involved in soccer, piano, work, I would sleep at night. 
If the television corporations aired good shows during different hours to avoid distracting me, I would sleep at night. 
If the other family members in my house were quiet throughout the day, I would sleep at night.
If my cats were sane and understood the concept of the proper hours to have spazz attacks, I would sleep at night.

So it's everyone else's fault you don't sleep at night, you ask.  That all depends on how you look at it.  From my point of view, I'm the victim here.

Or at least I use to be...  The difference from then and now is last night I set my alarm clock to 8:02 a.m. 

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Theme 14: Part I

Six, sometimes seven, live under the same roof.  Share the same food.  Sleep in different but similar rooms.  Wash in the same showers (but at different times).  Echo voices through the same halls.

If younger, run through the same fields.  If older, stand back and watch the fun.  Park vehicles in the same garage.  Throw bottles in the same disposable bin.  Complain about an empty fridge or cupboard.

Watch the same show on the flat-screen week by week.  Pet the same cats and dog.  Play the same keys on an ancient piano.  Strike the same soccer balls back and forth to improve on aim and strength.

Bicker about a dirty room.  Wonder the same thoughts as sickness comes and goes.  Gossip to old relatives on the phone when no one should be listening.  Or on purpose when knowing someone is listening.  Judge choices with bias to personal opinions.  Take sides when arguments arise.  Change sides when speaking with the other opponent.

Favor the youngest because he doesn't know any better.  Give the same advice as others make mistakes.  Yell, claiming what they do is always right, everyone else is wrong.  Star gaze on the same roof even when one parent has forbidden it.  Ground either of the sisters when poor decisions are made.

Pray the same prayers: when she is in the hospital, when he is ill, when her boyfriend drops out, when he moves back in with her, when she has lost a dog, when he works too much.

And through it all, love each other in the same unconditional manner: she, she, he, she, he, she--they.